Okay, so it's been a long, long time since I've posted.
I'm not so good about blogging. It seems like something I'm going to stick with, and then I forget. I really, really need to record the behaviors of Dilly-Dally, so if I sound like I'm complaining, I'm just recording.
So, now for the update.
So, the therapy we had in place didn't work. It started out promising, the intern they placed her with seemed to be really interested in getting to the bottom of things. (However, may I take a time-out here to point out the word "intern". I may not be as familiar with this side of the mental health spectrum and I need to educate myself more, which is what I am trying to do, but this to me screamed the fact that they believed my child wasn't deemed bad enough to place her with anyone else besides an intern. Like an actual certified therapist with years of experience. But, I didn't say anything. I kept my personal appraisal of the situation to myself, thinking that they knew what they were doing.)
The "intern" seemed genuinely interested in Dilly-Dally's development. The initial plan we developed including sorting out her anxiety issues, and her phobia over vomit. We also were going to work on behavior modification and included the introduction of "job cards" for us as parents to use at home.
At what point is it not obvious that the method of intervention and behavior modification isn't working? When, after the first couple of times (the honeymoon period) of completing the request she starts telling you flat out no that she's not going to do it...no matter how many times she is grounded from the computer/xbox/tv and you have to carry her kicking and screaming to her room because she refuses to go? How many bruised shins do I have to experience before we get to say look, it's not working?
Ah, but the beauty of the "job card" system is that it works for everybody who's tried it! You are just not implementing it properly!
My foot. (which is a lot nicer than what I would really like to say...)
No anxiety treatment. No phobia treatment. No in office behavior modification. But, I tell myself, they'll get to it. After all, they are so busy they can only see her every three weeks. Then, after so many months into treatment, they switch "interns".
This new intern cares nothing for her anxiety. What phobia? What behavior mod? It's all about what we are doing wrong as her parents. Again. Have you used the job cards when necessary? Have you been consistent enough with them? You haven't been consistent with them, use them. What are you trying to do, market them? They are not working with her. I'm tired of the bruised shins...not to mention me trying to carry her up stairs with my bad knees and making every attempt not to hurt her in the process...or at least not to leave marks.
She started having an upswing (not bipolar my sweet fanny!) and was doing somewhat better. I thought she may be maturing some, sweetly smiled that therapy must have worked...followup in three months? What about September? Great...
Never showed. Still doing fairly good. Honeymoon period at school. Not 100%, but better than she was.
Time for the downswing? Oh, about October.
"But, mom, everybody bullies me at school! You don't know what it's like!" "Dad always yells at me! He's always mad at me!" (Not true, but this is the point of view of the tween with the ADHD and Adjustment Disorder.) No homework being completed. Grades down to D's and F's. Okay, so I start staying up to midnight with her because it takes her. That. Long. Not good enough. Now we start study hall during the day. Not. Good. Enough. So, now we try after-school study hall as well.
I'm getting notes saying she's becoming verbally aggressive with the teachers and other students.The teachers, recognizing that she is indeed a smart child but not living up to her true potential in the classroom, commit to me to doing whatever it takes to get her what she needs. What she needs, they agree, is meds. I'm to that point too, to be honest.
We start therapy again (different company) on the 23rd. Psych appointment next month. I commit to doing things differently this time. Record the behavior plan. Then record what is truly going on during appointments. Record what she is doing outside of therapy- keep record of teacher notes. Do what I should have been doing all along.
December. Time for holiday parties. I should realize to expect the worse behavior because it's going to mess with her schedule, make her overwhelmed.
Saturday- she was perfect. We went to the Children's Museum. She even came asking for rules before she took off. Perhaps she was being sarcastic. She actually didn't sound like it. I was shocked, along with our "personal advocate". I told her three simple rules: "Be good. Don't do anything to embarrass yourself. Have fun." She was really on her best behavior. (So proud!)
Sunday- the Heritage Museum. My father-in-laws' Christmas party. We do this every year. We look forward to it: every year. This year the largest bank in town plans the Family Festival where everyone and their dog gets in free as well to the museum. The place is packed. Bubba gets lost. I'm panicked and trying to hold it together. He's missing for about five-ten minutes, but is found again- but by this time dad and I have had enough. We tell them we are leaving, I explain that I will bring them back on another day that it is not so crowded, even if I have to pay for it. The only words they hear is that we are leaving. Dilly-Dally runs. Dad has to carry her kicking and screaming out the door, heads are turning. Our second oldest tries to run; I'm faster. I quick grab her coat by the lapel, spin her around and seat her down on the bench. I'm stuck: Bubba in my arms (I am NOT setting him down again!), and KBug and Monkeybutt on the bench- both refusing to budge. Eventually KBug caves. Not Monkeybutt. I say a prayer that nothing will happen to her as the three of us go out to the van: just to find dad chasing Dilly-Dally (right now not living up to her nickname!) around the parking lot. He tells me she has been almost hit twice. We tag team. I deal with her, he goes to get Monkeybutt. I take them to our local hospital dealing with mental illness emergencies- I have had enough. Of course, it's not bad enough for them to do much...but I'm hoping it'll give Dilly-Dally enough thinking to do that she may curb some really extreme behavior, but I doubt it. ADHD is an impulsive behavior. It won't matter that I've taken her in once. She'll act the way her impulses tell her...which is run any time she doesn't get her way.
Well, that's the update. More later.
No comments:
Post a Comment