So, a few days ago I was flipping through Facebook as always...and I came across this nifty little article from ADDitudemag.com:
There's No New Normal In Our House- Just the Old Chaotic One
I read it, and discovered it was the same one I had reposted just a few weeks earlier from Huffington Post (I won't post that link since it's the same article).
I had a good laugh over this article, because it is so true. However, there's a sad truth behind it as well.
In our house, Chaos reigns.
I have tried using Flylady since first introduced to her several years ago (I think I've mentioned her in a previous post...) but just never got the hang of the routines. In fact, one of the reasons we've had it so difficult with the kids (especially DillyDally) is the fact that I almost despise being tied to a schedule and a routine. I always figured, hey, I get my kids to bed at a decent hour 90% of the time, what's the big deal if tonight it's 8:00, and tomorrow night it's 9:00? I am not one that likes to be controlled, just ask my husband!
So, the last week or so I've been making plans to institute some new routines around here that DillyDally can follow, and I discussed them in the last post. (Guess what, procrastination has set in and they still aren't ready to go, so we aren't even going to get to use them for a dry run before Monday.) I even got excited about possibly using them myself...and found some additional routine ideas that hopefully will help.
In fact, I got so carried away in researching ADHD management...I came across some other things. Adult ADHD symptoms such as: finding it difficult to follow through with chores and keeping the house clean (aka see above article), arriving to appointments on time, forgetting about appointments, disorganization, procrastination (see above), etc., etc., etc. This led me thinking- do I really have ADHD myself?
We've known for a long time that hubby suffers from it, and as such was left untreated as a child, which led to a difficult childhood. I keep finding the need to remind him that we need to be on the same page regarding this "positive parenting" and behavior modification- since his default is yelling. (Mine is too.) But, could the fact that our cluttered and, admittedly, often dirty house be a direct result of my own undiagnosed ADHD? (I must assert here that I really try to have a clean house. But, I can clean and sweep a room and five hours later it looks untouched. Confession time- yes, I have had run-ins with CPS...the first time I was told that there is no way that the mess could have been made overnight. Think again! You don't know this family! Insert paranoia and anxiety on top of frustration...)
I'm not one for resolutions...but as I read and researched, I realized that while, yes, it is important to make sure DillyDally is taken care of...it is probably even more so important that I take care of myself. Like when they give pre-flight instructions, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then your children....I cannot take proper care of her if I haven't taken care of myself. So, as much as it pains me-
I must learn to follow routines myself! Over time I learned what I had to do about forgetting appointments- I keep everything on my Google calendar and then will transfer dates to my big calendar in the kitchen so I have it multiple places. If I can train myself how to do that, I can train myself how to follow a routine.
I will have to practice a bit of behavior modification on myself if I expect it to work with DillyDally or any of the other kids. Reward myself for chores as much as I am supposed to reward them for a job well done.
GET ENOUGH SLEEP! Because when I am exhausted I find it difficult to get anything done.
TAKE TIME FOR MYSELF! Teach myself how to relax and de-stress so that I can teach DillyDally how to.
At the moment, this is all I can think of... so here is to a safe, calm, and happy 2015!
Peace.
